The origin story of Hunter Biden is, at its core, a tragedy: At 3 years old, he was a young toddler gravely injured in a Christmastime car crash that took the lives of his baby sister and his beloved mother. His father, Joseph, had just been elected as a senator and was faced with soldiering on without his wife and raising Hunter along with his brother, Beau.
The tragedy doesn’t end there because Hunter Biden’s story only gets worse. He wouldn’t go on to overcome these circumstances but instead succumbed to them. Faced with drug addiction, multiple run-ins with the law, and an illegitimate child he refused to acknowledge, let alone build a relationship with, Hunter Biden passed along his trauma generationally to his daughter. And now, he’s in need of a pardon from his dear old father, now President Joe Biden, to stay a free man.
What’s truly sad about the second half of Hunter Biden’s story is that it could have been prevented. He could have been a poster child for resilience instead of nepotism and corruption. Why did he turn out the way he did? Unfortunately for him, Hunter Biden is one of the oldest and perhaps the most famous products of gentle parenting, and it has been his undoing.
According to its proponents, gentle parenting is an approach to raising children that prioritizes connection, empathy, respect, and validation. Notice one word missing there? Consequences.
Many of Joe Biden’s defenders, when faced with the morning-after conversations about the president’s decision to pardon his son, claimed: “What father wouldn’t do whatever he could, even endangering his own legacy, to make sure his son stays safe and a free man?”
But the reason Hunter Biden is even in a position to need a pardon, not just for a gun charge, but for a full decade of malfeasance, is because his father has consistently bailed him out. Instead of giving his son the benefit of experiencing natural consequences and having to face them like a man, Joe Biden kept his son in a state of suspended animation, forever a toddler in need of his father’s protection instead of a man who is able to care for himself and a family.
It is the opposite of a father’s love to prevent a son from experiencing the full weight of his choices — it dooms him to a constant loop of making increasingly bad decisions.
Responding to the question, “Who wouldn’t pardon their own kid?”, commentator Matt Walsh explained: “I would not issue my 54 year old crackhead son a blanket pardon for any and all federal crimes committed in the period of a decade. Sheltering your children from the rightful consequences of their actions — especially when they’re adults — means that you are preventing them from becoming virtuous people.”
Walsh’s perspective is not one that many parents of our generation share. Few parents are considering the long-term effects of our decisions. Gentle parenting feels good in the moment — no parent wants to bring the hammer down on his or her child. It feels better to connect and empathize with our children because being the bad guy is no fun. But gentle parenting is not a recipe for a fully functioning adult who is able to make logical and wise decisions.
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A 5-year-old who doesn’t understand that he is required to clean up after a spill will become a 50-year-old who doesn’t understand that he will be required to do jail time if he does not legally obtain a firearm. A gentle parent would sit and spend time with a child to empathize with him and ask why he spilled water and what he may have been feeling when he did so, but that’s not what a child in that moment needs. He needs to be handed a towel and given clear and unambiguous instructions to clean up immediately. A 50-year-old man needed to face the music, even if that meant staring down the barrel of a gun charge and possible prison time.
It’s not loving-kindness to deny your child the right to understand the consequences of his decisions. To refuse to parent with intention is selfish, lazy, and deeply unfair. It’s never too late to be a better parent, and Joe Biden missed yet another opportunity to elect to be one this week.
Bethany Mandel (@bethanyshondark) is a homeschooling mother of six and a writer. She is the bestselling co-author of Stolen Youth.