The Atlantic staff writer Tom Nichols took to X last week to encourage his followers to cut ties with their Trump-supporting family. He writes, “Family is irreplaceable, especially parents. But replace ‘Trump’ with, say, ‘David Duke’ and ask: Would I want to hang out with my uncle or cousin who thinks David Duke is awesome? ‘Trump isn’t Duke’ isn’t an answer: He’s more dangerous. Some things transcend politics.”
Nichols isn’t the only one. On MSNBC, Yale University chief psychiatry resident Dr. Amanda Calhoun told viewers they should feel justified in cutting ties with their Trump-supporting family members. In fact, she advised viewers that such a move “may be essential for your mental health.”
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But instead of demonizing or ostracizing loved ones who voted for President-elect Donald Trump, those of us who didn’t vote for him should listen to them and try to understand their perspective.
Many leftists have been living in a state of advanced terror since the election. The New York Post reports: “Liberals in deep-blue New York City shocked and disturbed by President-elect Donald Trump’s election victory are flooding shrinks’ inboxes looking for appointments.” Author Jill Filipovic identified the source of the terror when she wrote, “[T]his election was not an indictment of Kamala Harris. It was an indictment of America.”
But this terror is a form of self-torture. When we believe that half of the country are mustache-twirling villains and white supremacists, we become paranoid. The fear saps our energy and our joy in the world, leaving us constantly angry and on edge. It pulls us away from the present moment and into a horror movie populated by an endless parade of bogeymen out to get us. It is no way to live.
But if those of us who didn’t vote for Trump got out and talked to our Trump-supporting loved ones, we would not find bogeymen. In lieu of white supremacists, we would find a broad-based, multiethnic coalition: Trump won just 55% of white voters, along with 45% of Hispanic voters and 65% of Native American voters. In lieu of monsters who supported Trump’s most incendiary comments, we would find voters who just want an economy that works (Trump won 86% of voters who said the economy was “poor”).
Trump’s coalition looks less like the KKK and more like the kind of multiethnic, working-class coalition that Democrats have always tried to attract. Recognizing that might force us to rethink our priors. It might also offer us profound relief from our fear. Leaving aside the question of whether or not the orange man is bad, it can surely be nothing but good news to discover that most of his supporters are not.
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Another reason leftists should listen to Trump supporters is because he appealed to so many marginalized folks. Trump won 63% of voters who never attended college. He won 80% of voters who ranked “the economy” as their most important issue, in part because a lot of those folks are struggling. Among voters who said that inflation has caused their family “severe hardship,” he won 74%. Many of Trump’s voters are the kind of struggling, disenfranchised Americans that the Left once prided itself on helping. Listening to these voters, rather than demonizing them, would represent a return to the Left’s roots.
If leftists want to understand people who voted for Trump, a great way to start is with Braver Angels, a national nonprofit focused on reducing toxic polarization. Among other offerings, it sets up 1:1 conversations between liberals and conservatives so that each side can better understand the other. In these trying times, such conversations might be a powerful antidote to growing terror.
Julian Adorney is the founder of Heal the West, a Substack movement dedicated to combating illiberalism via spiritual formation and rebuilding the American community. He is a member of the Braver Angels media team.