There is a gender crisis in American society. We see examples everywhere. Movies, television shows, legacy news outlets, and social media sites praise individuals who identify as nonbinary. A recent Gallup report shows 7.6% of U.S. adults identify as “LGBTQ+,” which is up from 3.5% in 2012. The rate among Generation Z is 22.3%, the highest of any generation.
With so much inner turmoil on public display, it’s more important than ever to be honest. Discouraging men from their own masculinity and women from their own femininity causes harm and adds to a collective delusion.
In right-leaning circles, conversations about how men and women should behave are not only passionate but can become authoritarian in nature. Conservatives who see a culture lurching toward the left are rightly concerned. But this anxiety can lead to overcorrection. In some cases, it becomes outright condemnation of a man or woman whose personal aesthetic doesn’t meet another’s personal requirements. It doesn’t have to be this way.
Our chromosomes cannot be changed, despite any claims to the contrary. We cannot alter the innate qualities that make us male or female. Because of that biological security, it only makes sense to encourage others in their personal tastes as they relate to their established sex. Believing that men must only be athletic, outdoorsy alpha males with great strength and height dismisses the millions who are naturally different. Chiding women for not being perfectly manicured Instagram models ignores the many who aren’t that way. If anything, we need less shame concerning how we were created.
As women, we’ve seemingly been given two options: either be a radical feminist with an independent streak or a demure trad wife who bakes sourdough. But the extremes aren’t the only paths. There is quite a bit of nuance.
One recent example on X involved user Sameera Khan posting a video of Hannah Barron, an outdoor enthusiast and self-proclaimed catfish wrangler. Khan, a former Miss New Jersey and RT correspondent, complained that Barron’s Alabama accent should be “illegal” and said, “There is NOTHING feminine about American women. American women are literally men.”
Khan, whose photos show someone in full, heavy makeup, is seemingly bothered by Barron’s casual, makeup-free look and lifestyle that includes activities involving sweat and labor. The post went viral. While the initial post was most likely engagement farming, the reaction to it was swift and severe.
Barron’s brand of femininity, one could even call it “tomboy,” doesn’t make her less of a woman. And Khan’s overdone aesthetic doesn’t make her more feminine. Conservatism isn’t losing points because Hannah Barron exists and has a large following. Khan may consider herself anti-woke, but shaming another woman like this isn’t combating woke ideology. It is baseless and inexcusable.
High-maintenance femininity is not the only kind. It dismisses the millions of women who aren’t overly filtered models but who are responsible, hard-working, love their families, and guide and love their children. If anything, we need to encourage more of that.
There’s nothing wrong with a woman being independent or single. Not every woman homeschools or has a homestead. The women who don’t take center stage in loud, maniacal protests or look perfect online or on magazine covers are actually pretty numerous. We are all unique. Oftentimes, we don’t fall into either major category. We’re largely just trying to make our way in this world. And our femininity is our own. More often than not, there’s no agenda.
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Demanding a daughter or son fall in line with strict textbook definitions of how females and males should be is harmful. Then once they’re exposed to social media, it can be a recipe for disaster. Suddenly, they’re not only accepted for their uniqueness but told it must mean something else: they were born in the wrong body.
Girls, boys, women, and men should have confidence to exist on a spectrum that allows for all shades of personality and style, without concluding some biological error has taken place. If we all fostered more of that freedom, perhaps there would be less overall confusion.
Kimberly Ross (@SouthernKeeks) is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog and a columnist at Arc Digital.