Married people are happier.
The data show this again and again. The retreat from marriage is the biggest factor in the recent declines in happiness. Marital status is one of the most powerful predictors of well-being — more powerful than income.
Some conclude that marriage makes people happier. Others conclude that happier people have an easier time getting and staying married — or that the same traits that cause happiness cause marriageability.
I might fall into the final category, or all of the above.
Yes, I think it’s obvious that on average marriage makes one happier. Having a very close friend with whom you can share everything is obviously good for well-being. My wife and I call and text dozens of times a day. We have inside jokes that have more layers of humor than I have even with college roommates. Also, being married results in more sex, and that’s awesome. Then there’s the diversification: spouse can often do the happiness-generating things that you might be bad at, like planning a vacation or cooking well. Serving someone makes you happy, and being served makes you happy. There are a thousand ways marriage makes one happy.
And surely, marriage “selects” for happiness. Most people look more attractive when they smile. Depression, anger, resentment, and jealousy all can make one less likely to be married.
But I believe the best explanation for the marriage-happiness correlation is what you might call an “ecological” account.
I think that certain social environments both make people happier and make people more likely to get and stay married.
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Tightknit communities, packed tightly with institutions of civil society, are the best habitat for human happiness for a thousand reasons, and they are also the best habitat for marriage. Churches, excellent public schools, strong neighborhoods, robust sports leagues, and other institutions like this provide models of marriage, support for couples and parents, and great meeting grounds.
Community strength causes marriage, and it causes individual happiness. And both in turn cause one another.