Can philosophical opposites get along?
Rusty Wright Mark I. Pinsky
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Tired of polarizing rancor, food-fight media, and constant “gotcha” bickering? Try befriending someone from the “other side” whose views differ greatly from your own. You might learn a lot. We did.
At Duke in the late 1960s, Mark was the “Readable Radical,” Rusty a Campus Crusade for Christ (now called Cru) leader. We were on opposite sides of many issues. Today, still a left-wing Jewish Democrat (who supports the forces of progressive reform in Israel) and an evangelical speaker/writer, we are fast friends, collaborating on writing projects, sharing professional and personal advice, staying in each other’s homes, and more.
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Perhaps this journalistic odd-couple story could facilitate bridge-building in the wider culture.
During our university years, campuses were aflame with revolution. The Vietnam War, civil rights movement, sexual revolution, and what Time magazine dubbed the “Jesus Revolution” were all happening at once.
Mark’s Duke Chronicle “Readable Radical” column expressed his leftist convictions. Cru fundraisers sometimes showed the Chronicle to donors as “this is what we’re up against.” Though we differed in many areas, I (Rusty) always respected Mark’s dedicated concern for hurting people and his abhorrence of hypocrisy.
I (Mark) recall my initial reaction when we met in the Chronicle office: I disagreed with Rusty on cultural, political, and theological assumptions, but I was disarmed by his amiable, humorous, and self-deprecating manner. We didn’t become friends then, but he made an indelible impression on me.
Over the years, I read Mark’s articles in the Los Angeles Times and Orlando Sentinel covering evangelicals and other themes. We reconnected at a 1999 press convention. Soon we were interacting regularly about work and life: writing, speaking, and national and international events. The press convention later invited us to speak about our relationship.
I (Rusty) recall Mark and his wife, our classmate Sallie Brown, opening their home as my bed and breakfast while in Orlando. Sallie and I would stay up late watching Duke basketball while Mark worked on his writing. But his hoops fandom is improving. On Mark’s initiative, last March we co-authored “Divine Dilemma: Who gets God’s nod in March Madness?”
Knowing my longtime interest in Holocaust studies, Mark took me to Orlando’s Holocaust museum. We had lunch with his elderly Jewish friend, Norm, who served as a doctor at a Catholic hospital after World War II.
With my late wife’s cancer diagnosis, Mark and Sallie very kindly prayed for us both. As I coped with Meg’s death, I found myself focusing on the Book of Job. Mark asked that I send him my reflections from Job for a special Yom Kippur speech at his synagogue. Composing that letter helped me in processing her death.
Mark earned respect among evangelical leaders for his fairness. He notes how our friendship aided his writing: I (Mark) wanted to know about the evangelical world from the inside, from a source I knew I could trust. Rusty was it. He wanted a fair portrayal of his world, without harmful caricature. He became my sounding board and go-to editor, as well as a valued friend.
How did this friendship develop? We accept our differences — philosophical, political, spiritual — as givens. We have many similarities: generational, educational, and social concerns (especially racism, poverty, and antisemitism). Our anti-racist commitment is vital. Faith and a sense of humor also help. We’ve met each other’s family members and friends.
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We offer personal advice when asked. We are committed to civility. We value our friendship and enjoy developing it.
An ancient Hebrew proverb notes that “a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” Another observes, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” We are grateful for friendship that refreshes and sharpens us. We recommend that philosophical opposites try this. Maybe civil discourse can become more civil.
Rusty Wright is an author and lecturer who has spoken on six continents. Mark I. Pinsky is an author, journalist, speaker, and social critic.