Inspired by Wayne Brady, I have decided to come out as heterosexual
Christopher Tremoglie
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Earlier this week, actor, singer, comedian, and game show host Wayne Brady decided to “come out” as something called pansexual. I’ve never heard of the term and am pretty sure people are making up names for sexual orientations and genders whenever they want to at this point.
But Brady’s admission was inspirational. In a world where absolutely no one was clamoring to know Wayne Brady’s newly adjusted sexual orientation, I have decided to follow suit and announce my long-established orientation. As I take a dramatic deep breath before I write this, I am officially coming out as heterosexual.
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Wow! I finally did it, and it felt good to get off my chest. It’s been a long time coming since, as a man, I have been attracted to women my entire life. Sure, I may have dabbled in thoughts of pursuing isolation or becoming a monk after a couple of relationships ended with heartbreak. But I would deny myself and the world who I really am. I choose to be my authentic self and embrace my heterosexuality! Everyone should respect my decision, and if you have a problem with it, then, as Brady said in his announcement, that’s “your business.”
But in reality, no one cares if I am heterosexual. Just like no one would care if I was a triple binary, gender-solid, gender-fluid, polyamorous, sapiosexual man. Perhaps, they might be a little concerned for my mental health, and I would probably get a few odd looks by announcing something so stupid, but no one would care. Just like no one truly cares whether Wayne Brady — or anyone compelled to reveal their sexual orientation publicly — wants to be attracted to women or men, or both, or women who want to pretend to be men, or men who want to pretend to be women.
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It’s a private decision about a personal matter that should have been kept private all along. Because, despite what many culture warriors on the Left have tried to implement in society over the years, no one cares about Wayne Brady’s imaginary orientation. Just like no one cares about my officially declared heterosexuality. And, unlike Wayne Brady, who did this to quench an unhealthy thirst for attention, I did it to mock Brady and anyone who feels compelled to make a grand announcement of one’s sexual orientation.
It is absurd and indicative of what can only be described as society genuflecting to the rabid and toxic propaganda of the LGBTQIA and whatever other letters they are adding to that acronym now. Brady is a 51-year-old man who has been married twice and has a daughter. If anyone thinks his announcement is anything more than a man in dire need of attention, you’re kidding yourself. And, in 2023, let’s stop calling this silliness anything other than someone’s narcissism.