As part of America’s 250th anniversary, The New York Times spotlighted eight consequential Americans, examining their influence on the nation through the lens of their shortcomings. Among them was one of the U.S.’s most influential conservative women, Phyllis Schlafly, who mobilized millions of women in grassroots politics while raising six children.
They insinuate Schlafly to be hypocritical because she was both a homemaker and mother while heavily involved in politics, running her organization, Eagle Forum. But no surprise there. The New York Times has long celebrated feminism while treating homemaking as an outdated pastime that women should outgrow. Anyone who did both successfully, well, they hate that too.
Since Schlafly’s day, feminism has steadily redefined success for women. Marriage and motherhood gave way to careers, financial independence, and personal fulfillment as the new cultural ideals. Now, the explosive popularity of the trad-wife movement reveals that many women are questioning whether climbing the corporate ladder was ever the fulfillment they were promised.
The Schlafly critiques reveal a broader cultural assumption: women must choose between their families and meaningful public influence. With women depressed, isolated, and unfulfilled now more than ever, the trad wife frenzy has become what many women feel is the only alternative to the soul-sucking life that their 9-to-5s offer. But like anything, the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction.
As conservative women, we don’t have to falsely choose between modern feminism and the latest internet frenzy. It isn’t an either-or. Instead, we should embrace wholesome femininity, where we can embrace the freedom of cultivating our families, contributing to society, and joining the fight against wokeism targeting our innocent children.
We should reject the false dichotomy that says we can only wear a bonnet or a blazer.
Phyllis Schlafly exposed the false choice long ago, which her life reflected
Schlafly did two things remarkably well: she urged women to prioritize their families while simultaneously mobilizing them to become politically engaged. Never did she tell women to simply stay home, bake bread, and shut out the world. Rather, she worked to dismantle the feminist narrative that devalued homemaking by portraying it as an inferior calling.
Schlafly argued that motherhood and family life were among the most important contributions a woman could make because strong families are the foundation of a strong society. At the same time, she encouraged women to vote, organize, write, speak, and influence public policy for the betterment of society. Family was to be a woman’s first responsibility, but that did not mean she believed women should never pursue careers or participate in public life. Her own life proved that faithful motherhood and meaningful public influence were not mutually exclusive.
Both feminism and trad-wife movement accept same flawed premise
The boss-babe movement fed women the lie that they would only be fulfilled through their careers, promotions, and independence. The trad-wife movement became attractive to so many women because it gives an alternative to the tired, stressful career-laddering life that has left women utterly exhausted. But then they realized it was filled with broken promises, leaving them emptier and lonelier because they didn’t prioritize marriage or a family.
Ironically, though, both the feminist and the trad-wife movements tell women their identity must be defined by one single role. Feminism says your career and achievements define your worth, and the trad wife movement puts domesticated, sourdough-making life as your identity.
For normal conservative mothers like me, it’s a good thing I don’t place my identity in my baking abilities or my ever-changing career positions. Feminism tells us that women prove their worth by leaving the home, and the trad-life movement implies our worth is measured solely by staying indoors.
Conservative women must stop reacting to culture and start shaping it
Instead of boxing ourselves into opposing camps, we should strive to be the kind of women who prioritize our families while faithfully influencing the culture around us. Growing up, I was always a goal-setter. I would enthusiastically rattle off the countless things I wanted to accomplish, and one day, my mother stopped me and said, “You can do all of this, but not all at the same time.”
WOMEN ARE THE LEFT’S COLLATERAL DAMAGE IN ABORTION FIGHT
That advice has served me well throughout every season of my life. As a young mother who works and has two small children, I’ve learned that not every season looks the same. There are seasons when pregnancy leaves me sick on the couch for months, and my family needs more of me than my work does. There are seasons when I’m healthy and energized, and able to devote more time to writing and fighting on the front lines of cultural battles. Neither season is superior to the other. Faithfulness isn’t about doing everything at once; it’s about rightly ordering our priorities.
The women who changed the United States weren’t sitting on Instagram debating what was the better uniform: bonnets or blazers. They were raising children, serving their communities, building institutions, and shaping public policy — just like Schlafly did. If we, as conservative women, recover that vision, we can stop reacting to culture and instead shape it.
Caroline Woods is the founder of Woods Strategies and resides in Rapid City, South Dakota, where she is also a wife and mother.