The pressures of modern parenting are, in many ways, like those of past generations. Meeting physical and emotional needs is a constant feature. Parents are tasked with loving, guiding, and nurturing. At a certain point, our children leave the nest. Turning them into responsible, contributing adults who establish lives and families of their own is the ultimate goal. But while the basics haven’t changed, present-day specifics are wildly different. Enter the complicating factor of the internet.
In the 1980s and 1990s, when I grew up, life was slower-paced. Being unreachable was the norm. Boredom was a creative engine, especially for children. The wider world was at a distance and mostly inaccessible. It did not encroach upon local life and family dynamics in the way it does now. Notably, once you left school or work, the outside world stayed mostly outside. For many people, those insulating boundaries no longer exist.
Thanks to constant internet access, we are inundated with a nonstop stream of news, entertainment, and social media content. The flow continues until we deliberately disconnect. While this can be challenging to varying degrees for adults, it is especially difficult for children and teenagers. It is this fight, unknown to previous generations of parents, that we must confront.
The battle to protect childhood, mental health, and family life is one of the defining struggles of our hyperconnected age.
Concerns about screen time and smartphone usage have much to do with developmental substitution. They redirect and monetize childhood attention spans. This can result in addiction and other disastrous consequences.
In 2024, researchers at the University of South Florida conducted a study called the Life in Media Survey. The study of 1,510 young adolescents, approximately 11 to 13 years old, focused on digital media use of all kinds in this age bracket. Among the study’s most striking findings was the age at which children received their first smartphones. According to the study, “One in nine children who have their own phone reported getting the device at age 7 or younger. On average, the 11-year-olds we surveyed said they’ve had a smartphone since they were just over eight and a half years old, while the 12- and 13-year-olds in the study said they got a smartphone when they were nine and a half and ten and a half, respectively.” Of the children surveyed, 52% indicated their phones come with a data plan that allows anytime access to the internet. And again, the respondents were only 11 to 13 years old, with the oldest just entering their teenage years.
What is the reasoning behind getting children a smartphone? If it’s to stay in touch with family, there are non-internet phones that can accomplish that task. But clearly, internet usage is a popular motivation. It’s only natural to wonder how much peer pressure, convenience, and social expectations play a part in putting smartphones in young hands. Whatever the reason, children having unfettered access or lightly monitored access to the internet is not a positive thing.
The social aspect of online use quickly leads to unwanted interactions and outright bullying. The University of South Florida study shows just how prevalent cyberbullying is:
“We asked kids if they’d experienced any of five forms of cyberbullying in the previous three months, such as having hurtful photos or videos posted about them; being called mean or hurtful names; had rumors or lies about them spread, and others. We categorized kids as cyberbullied if they listed just one (or more) of these things happening to them in the prior three months, which a striking 57% of kids did. (One in five kids said they endure one or more of these harms once or more times each week). Using this categorization, cyberbullied children were much more likely than un-bullied kids to say they’ve felt depressed most days in the prior year, to say they often get angry and lose their temper, to say they find it hard to stop using technology once they’ve started, and to say that social media causes more harm than good.”
The formative years are difficult enough on their own. And, unfortunately, real-life bullying is a feature of that time. The added aspect of cyberbullying can compound issues that would have previously remained at school or another location and place them on screens right in the pockets of young adolescents. Protecting children from cruelty is always a worthy goal. One wonders why handing internet-enabled smartphones to children isn’t met with greater concern? Through early phone use, real harm is done. And it’s just not worth it.
The mental health effects of early smartphone use are more than enough to give great pause. The risks are simply too high. And parents must make tough, unpopular, but ultimately beneficial choices for their children. This requires uncomfortable conversations and putting one’s foot down. After all, the world has neither the interest nor the ability to provide boundaries for our children.
For parents who wish to provide these boundaries, they may be wondering where to draw them.
Jonathan Haidt, author of the bestselling book, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, advocates for smartphone use to not begin until at least age 14. He also believes no social media should be allowed until age 16. In a world where children, as exemplified by the University of South Florida study, receive internet-enabled smartphones at age 8, 9, or 10, this seems positively antiquated. That’s the whole idea. In addition to the age suggestions, Haidt includes two other suggested “norms”. As reported in this piece at the Guardian, they are “phone-free schools; and far more unsupervised play and childhood independence.”
Chapter 12 of Haidt’s book is titled “What Parents Can Do Now.” In it, he breaks down the advice per age range, addressing parents with children ages zero to 5, then 6 to 13, and finally, 13 to 18. His advice for the first group is limiting screens to educational programming, turning off screens during family meals or outings, and not using screens as a sort of digital pacifier.
For the middle group, Haidt suggests letting them experience the real world. This includes “practice letting your kids out of your sight without them having a way to reach you.” This habit, almost unheard of now, was once the standard by default. He also says time after school should be for free play. In terms of screens, he emphasizes the use of parental controls and filters, among other things. He also cautions parents to “look for signs of addiction or problematic use.” Notably, he very strongly advises against social media accounts until the age of 16.
For the last group, Haidt encourages expanding the boundaries of their world. Transportation is a major factor. Driver’s licenses and hanging out with friends, things on the decline in recent years, are developmental and social milestones. He suggests letting teenagers get their first part-time job, something that boosts confidence and improves their skill set. Most of all, Haidt encourages this group to be lovingly pushed out into the real world as much as possible.
It’s not as if Haidt is suggesting no screen time ever, for any age group. Instead, it’s more of a return to restoring natural development that isn’t spoiled by the online world.
Children are exposed to tech at a young age. This is the world we live in, one overtaken by digital experiences. As adults, we’re told that we need certain tech to improve our lives and get through our days. But the existence of an array of technology doesn’t mean we must partake. When it comes to childhood and teen years, the vigilance must be even greater. The developmental stages of childhood must be protected. There is no need to introduce every technological capability simply because it exists. Haidt is correct in that childhood must include a large helping of unsupervised, exploratory play and a measure of independence. These stages of life are both formative and magical enough on their own. Childhood should include bicycle rides, imagination, outdoor adventures, and yes, a measure of real-world freedom. Long days should be entirely devoted to the work of children — namely, play. When screens are introduced too young, children must then compete with a digital world. Childhood should not have to compete with the internet for children’s attention.
Encroaching upon these crucial stages of childhood and the preteen years is problematic enough. The early introduction to the internet and social media can greatly impact impressionable minds in a deeply negative way. The mental health impact is very real. Given how difficult puberty is on its own, why risk making things worse?
A study published in July 2025 in the Journal of the Human Development and Capabilities offers a stark warning:
“Researchers with the nonprofit Sapien Labs found that smartphone use by children younger than 13 could be linked to higher rates of suicidal thoughts, poorer emotional regulation, lower self-worth and detachment from reality. The study also found that this was especially true for girls. Specifically, the negative mental health symptoms strongly linked to earlier smartphone usage include not just suicidal thoughts and detachment from reality but also aggression and even hallucinations. In addition to lower self-worth, earlier smartphone ownership was also linked to diminished self-image and confidence and lower emotional resilience among females and lower stability, calmness and empathy among males. The study also found the impacts compounded — meaning, the younger the smartphone user was, the worse their mental health and well-being were likely to be. Researchers say that this could be because smartphone use exposes them to social media and cyberbullying at earlier ages, while also being linked to sleep disruption and poor family relationships.”
There is real-life action being taken to address these issues. It may not be widespread yet, but people are waking up to the fact that we can’t continue on as we have and not expect disastrous and varied consequences in the future. The shift signals a building societal consensus.
Governments are beginning to recognize and address these modern-day dangers.
In Australia, children and adolescents under 16 are banned from having social media accounts. The ban took effect in early December 2025. According to Jonathan Haidt, the wife of an Australian politician who worked on the legislation encouraged him to tackle the issue while reading Haidt’s book.
In mid-June in Canada, a similar bill was introduced to help with so-called “digital safety.” Similar to Australia, it would ban social media for children and adolescents under 16. Marc Miller, the Minister of Canadian Identity and Culture, said, “Social media platforms and AI chatbots are designed to capture attention. They do not support healthy childhood development and have become a source of anxiety, isolation, depression and a range of other mental health challenges for many young Canadians.” He’s not wrong. And it’s not just a problem for Canadian youth.
In March 2024, Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) signed HB 3: Online Protections for Minors into law. Following the signings, several groups that represent companies in the tech industry, like Google and Snap, Inc., filed a lawsuit to stop implementation, arguing the law violates First Amendment rights. In November 2025, an appeals court ruled that the law could be enforced. Like similar legislation, HB 3 does not allow those younger than 14 to have accounts on certain social media sites. Additionally, 14-and 15-year-olds must have parental consent to have an account.
To further address the issue, a total of 35 states have placed bans or restrictions on smartphone usage in school. The legislation or executive orders vary by state. While some have “bell-to-bell” bans, others restrict just for grades K-8 or only have bans in place during instructional time. Still, it’s clear that school districts nationwide, in both red and blue states, see the benefits of both the academic and social varieties.
While it seems we’ve been in this digital age forever, we’re still in the Wild West in terms of our location on a long timeline. We’ve yet to see the lifelong effects of internet and social media use. Not enough time has passed to see how it impacts those who came of age when it first became popular. There is a generation now that has only known life with the ubiquitous internet. It is a vastly different upbringing than what their parents, and certainly their grandparents, experienced. It has shaped and will continue to shape the way they see themselves, others, and the wider world. It is imperative that parents now or those considering parenthood in the future understand both the potential harm and solutions. These solutions come in the form of in-home regulation and observation, as well as school district restrictions and statewide laws.
Children and teenagers are gifts entrusted to us as parents. They deserve protection on all fronts. Just as there are predators in the real world, there are predators online. Sometimes, the predation is in the form of self-esteem issues brought on by exposure to cyberbullying or images of so-called perfection. Even if those are not major factors, there remains the detachment from real-life experiences and relationships. There is much about addressing these issues that feels uncomfortable or impossible. Still, that doesn’t mean parents should back down or give up.
Restricting and moderating internet use isn’t so much a rejection of technology as it is restoring a healthy path for the youngest among us. Because children and teenagers don’t know what’s best for them and can’t see the bigger picture, parents must step in. Additionally, adults in the communities around our children can contribute in a positive way.
THE ETHICS OF SURROGACY: CHILDREN ARE NOT A TRANSACTION
Childhood is a special, fleeting time. Childhood and teenage years aren’t just stages — they represent the actual first-floor foundation to individual lives. What children and adolescents learn and are exposed to, they will carry with them well into adulthood.
We must ask: What is childhood for? Is it a time to place our children on digital autopilot, or is it a time to invest and nurture, with technology only playing a small part? The answer is clear.
Kimberly Ross (@SouthernKeeks) is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog and a contributing freelance columnist at the Freemen News-Letter. She is a mother of two and lives in the southern United States.