I grew up during the 1980s and ‘90s, and I was unknowingly spoiled with parental time and attention. I had no idea how blessed I was as a child until I took a vacation with my children last week. It was a vacation I had put off for years because everything got in the way: the pandemic, my father’s sickness, work, and a gubernatorial campaign — none of which were insurmountable. OK, the pandemic was rough, but we could have worked around the others.
I regret not prioritizing vacation, but you don’t have to.
Everyone has parenting advice these days. Mine isn’t profound, but I almost learned it too late: Don’t put off vacation time with your children.
Last week, we took off on a family adventure to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. It’s a magical place where my parents took my sister and me every summer when we were girls.
During our trip, I was reminded that my parents were totally focused on us, and golf, during our family vacations in the 20th century. Back then, there were no cellphones or email. I was incredibly spoiled by this uninterrupted time with Mom and Dad. I had no idea that lifestyle would not be available to my children.
Today, we are constantly connected, and in the political world, there is always something new happening. It’s like a drug, and we’re all waiting for the next hit. And we don’t even know we’re doing it until we’re not. This past week, I was not connected, and it was great.
It was great for me, but really great for my children. We spent endless hours together in the ocean being tumbled by waves. I knew it was going to be a special week on the first day. I was on the beachwalk heading back to the house, and my 16-year-old put her arm around me and whispered, “Thank you, Mommy.”
Those three words from a teenage girl are truly food for the soul of a momma. I asked her why she was thanking me, and she smiled, “for bringing me to the ocean with you.”
We spent every day pouring into the children. Sharing stories of our childhood, talking about faith, making meals, swimming, shopping, and watching late-night movies. Everything was about family and togetherness that week.
I got a call late in the week from someone at work. During the call, they brought up an X post about the drama happening in the WNBA games. I had no idea. I was totally checked out, and it felt great.
I may have gone overboard. I didn’t curl my hair, I didn’t wear makeup — I just relaxed. I felt like a kid again. One guy even recognized my name on my credit card but had to triple-take before asking if it was me.
Vacation is crucial and a reminder that I need to incorporate some vacation lessons into everyday life.
Last night, as I finished up a business call and prepared to run back to the office for an evening television hit, one of my youngest girls said, “I liked you better last week.” Ouch. I would too, but the sad reality is that life is not vacation. Still, I can be more present. I can choose to only engage in technology at home when it’s unavoidable.
That can be hard today. Another major difference from my childhood is that the cost of everything is much higher. This means that when I am not on vacation, I have to have multiple sources of income to provide my children with a great education, healthy food, and, eventually, vacation. Nevertheless, last week taught me how important it is to make a conscious effort to preserve the togetherness we had on the island back at home.
Our children will never grow up in the ’80s, and they will never know a world without social media, cellphones, and 24-hour messages. It’s up to us to try to limit that and also navigate family with technology.
We beat ourselves up about screen time, but it’s new to us, too. People expect instant access. When I was a young professional in manufacturing sales, I will never forget a disheveled colleague rushing in late to a meeting and muttering, “I can’t take it. They can find you anywhere now. These phones are ruining my life. They call at all hours of the night. These customers are relentless.”
PAID FAMILY LEAVE: A WIN FOR WORKERS, FAMILIES, AND THE ECONOMY
That conversation was over 20 years ago. Technology has changed our world. Access is 24 hours a day, and sometimes that means working after normal business hours. All the more reason not to put off the family vacation, even if it’s a staycation.
My mother spent the week in Hilton Head with us. If I can give you one bit of unsolicited advice, I would say take a week, check out, and pour into your children. In 30 years, you’ll still be part of the family vacation, and you will watch your grandchildren lean over and whisper, “Thank you, Mommy.”
Tudor Dixon is a former Republican gubernatorial nominee, executive in Michigan’s steel industry, breast cancer survivor, and working mother of four girls. She is the host of The Tudor Dixon Podcast.