When my son Easton and daughter London look at their sister Josie, they don’t see her diagnosis. They don’t see a disability. They see their little sister. Frankly, they often seem to like her better than they like each other.
Josie has Down syndrome, and we are all better off because she is who she is, exactly as she is. My children are better siblings because of her. They’re eager caretakers. They slow down if she needs help. They make sure she is safe and happy. I’m a better parent because of her. She has taught me lessons in joy, patience, and understanding that nobody else could have.
Tragically, it’s estimated that between 60% and 90% of the babies who receive a Down syndrome diagnosis in the womb are aborted. The specific number is difficult to know, but the statistics we do have suggest that abortions because of a prenatal diagnosis make up a troubling and pervasive trend.
Most of the time, parents choose these abortions out of fear, anxiety for their preborn child’s quality of life or the quality of their other children’s lives. Parenting any child can be scary, and the unknowns of parenting only grow in number when special medical and developmental needs arise.
But when you abort children because of a Down syndrome diagnosis, you steal a tremendous and irreplaceable gift from yourself and the rest of your family. A child with a disability isn’t a liability. She changes your life, forever, and for the better.
Children are pretty fearless in this respect. One morning, we had all sat down around the table for breakfast. Easton asked me, “Do I have Down syndrome?” After a moment, he eagerly asked, “When I grow up, can I get Down syndrome?”
He thought his little sister Josie’s life was something to aspire to, something he wanted to emulate. He saw how much we all loved her. He saw how happy she was. He didn’t perceive Down syndrome as a negative at all — and neither does Josie’s sister, London.
When we went to an amusement park this summer, I wondered if they’d struggle having Josie along. Josie doesn’t like to ride the rides, so she’d need special accommodations over the course of the trip.
Our children never flinched. They never once thought of leaving her out of our trip.
But fear, that same terrible fear so many parents feel when they first hear about their child’s diagnosis, doesn’t account for any of this. It doesn’t let you see how much your heart and your children’s hearts can and will grow to accommodate a sibling with a disability. Fear from a diagnosis has the power to blind you to the joy that child will bring into your life.
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In another conversation, my son was told, “When some people find out their baby will have Down syndrome like Josie, they get really scared.” His response was amazing. Without missing a beat, he responded in shock, “What, why?”
Fear can and does drive parents to decide to abort these children before they can ever join their families. The tragedy of an abortion due to a Down syndrome diagnosis doesn’t end with the death of a child. It means the loss of a person who will transform and expand the lives and hearts of every person she knows, including her siblings.
Jason Law is the director of communications for Human Coalition, one of the largest pro-life organizations in the nation that operates a network of pregnancy centers across the country.