The definitive anti-woke March Madness bracket
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The NCAA basketball tournament starts on Wednesday. That means it’s time for everyone’s favorite office distraction: filling out your bracket for the office pool.
But whom to pick? It can be tough, especially if you don’t follow college basketball. But thanks to the Heritage Foundation, if you are a conservative, there is a new easy way to make your selections.
HEALTHCARE CONSOLIDATION IS DESTROYING PATIENT CHOICE
Every conservative hates woke college administrators, so why not make your picks based on which schools have the fewest freedom-hating bureaucrats at their institution? Sounds like a lot of work, I know, but don’t worry: Heritage has already done the work for you.
In 2021, Heritage released a report counting up all the diversity, equity, and inclusion administrators for every school in the Power Five conferences. The organization then compared this number to the number of teaching faculty at the university. Voila! A ranking of teams based on wokeness!
Now not every school in the tournament is in a Power Five conference, so you have to develop a rule for them. I went with: “If a power five school faces a non-power five school, then the power five school wins because at least they have a ranking.”
This is unfair to non-Power Five schools, but this is just for fun, and they are used to getting screwed by the NCAA anyway.
Next, sometimes you can have two non-Power Five schools facing each other. The rule for those games I chose was to just look at the 2020 presidential vote. The higher percentage of votes for President Joe Biden, the woker the school. So for Iona University vs. the University of Connecticut, UConn barely advances because New York went 61% for Biden, while Connecticut only managed 59%. What a close game! This isn’t an exact science.
So just for fun, here is your official anti-woke March Madness bracket:
