Have more married sex, please!

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The bride and groom use the little finger together. lovely couple hold hand with sunset background
The bride and groom use the little finger together. lovely couple hold hand with sunset background fufupix/Getty Images/iStockphoto

Have more married sex, please!

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Sex is fantastic, and you should have it more often. That is the argument Magdalene Taylor makes in a New York Times op-ed published Monday. And I completely agree!

As Taylor correctly writes, “Sex reduces pain, relieves stress, improves sleep, lowers blood pressure and strengthens heart health.”

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Unfortunately, as Taylor also correctly notes, Americans are having a lot less sex than they used to. Almost a third of men under 30 had no sex last year, a number that Taylor notes has tripled since 2008. And of those people who are having sex, less than half are doing it at least once a week.

“Anyone capable should have sex,” Taylor concludes, “as much as they can, as pleasurably as they can, as often as they can.” Again, I agree, but only up to a point.

Nowhere in her article about how unfortunate it is that people are having less sex does Taylor mention that marriage is also at an all-time low. Maybe one reason people are having less sex is that fewer people are married.

Taylor also claims that “women who are having sex are less likely to be happy with the sex they’re having. Both men and women report feelings of regret and unhappiness following casual sex, but it’s more common among women — probably in part because of cultural perceptions of sexual autonomy. Sex can bring people together, but that only works when it’s good sex.”

Well, there is a really easy way to eliminate the “regret and unhappiness” that follows casual sex … get married! Married couples have more and better sex than single people.

“Sex,” Taylor writes, “is intrinsic to a society built on social connection.” Again, I couldn’t agree more. But sex is best channeled into positive social connections when it is part of marriage.

Communities with more married parents have less crime and more upward economic mobility than communities dominated by single parents. Married adults are more likely to volunteer in their communities, more likely to talk to their neighbors, and more likely to do favors for them.

So, as Taylor’s headline advises, “Have More Sex, Please!” But also try and get married first.

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