Welcome to Wednesday’s edition of Washington Secrets. Today we talk to Trump world insiders about exactly who knew what about Kristi Noem’s marriage, and we run the rule over this year’s (thin) crop of April Fools’ gags …
The story was shared around White House staffers’ and former officials’ phones seconds after it was published on the Daily Mail website.
“Bryon wasn’t around much. We were all aware of that,” said one former administration official, who described how their phone blew up with messages. “But I’d never heard about anything like this.”
“This” was a Daily Mail story describing how Kristi Noem’s husband, Bryon, was a secret crossdresser, pictured with huge fake breasts and pink hotpants that he wore to connect online with fetish models as part of the “bimbofication” scene.
It was the latest humiliation for Noem. She was removed from her role as head of the Department of Homeland Security last month amid accusations of mismanagement and lingering rumors about her relationship with Corey Lewandowski.
A source close to the White House said their affair was common knowledge, but everyone was shocked by the story and photos of Bryon Noem that were published on Tuesday.
“Everyone assumed they had an unconventional marriage because she was in a relationship with Corey Lewandowski,” they said. “The assumption was that he was fine with it for whatever reason … because he was gay, or had his own arrangement. No one in their wildest dreams imagined this.”
Another said that Noem was lucky none of this was unearthed during her vetting process.
“This was a job with high-level security clearances,” they said. “Imagine what a foreign adversary could have done with this information.”
The Noems’ marriage had been under intense scrutiny for years. In 2023, Noem, the then-Republican Governor of South Dakota, denied having an affair.
Bryon sat behind his wife when she appeared at a congressional hearing on March 4, when her leadership at DHS was under the microscope.
It was an example of a united front they had adopted in the face of questions.
“She was delusional,” said a Trumpworld figure. “Everyone in Washington knew what was going on.”
President Donald Trump was asked whether it was a “bad look” for the administration in February.
“I don’t know about that,” he told reporters aboard Air Force One. “I mean, I haven’t heard that. I’ll find out about it, but I have not heard that.”
The questions only got harder to ignore after Noem’s grilling in front of the House Judiciary Committee last month.
Rep. Sydney Kamlager-Dove (D-CA) asked: “Secretary Noem, at any time during your tenure … have you had sexual relations with Corey Lewandowski?”
Noem did not bother with a denial. “I am shocked that we’re going down and peddling tabloid garbage in this committee,” she said.
As news emerged of Bryon’s online activities, Trump allies went public with what they had heard.
“I mentioned on my podcast months ago that one of Trump’s cabinet members was telling reporters off the record that her husband was gay,” posted Ryan Gidurski, a political consultant and commentator.
“I didn’t name Noem by name out of respect for privacy, but to say she had no idea really flies in the face of what she was saying.”
In the meantime, there may be a bigger problem looming for Noem. Just who knew what about the $220 million of government money spent on an advertising campaign with Republican-connected firms — including the Strategy Group, where the chief executive was the husband of Noem’s then spokeswoman.
“What she really has to worry about is not the fake marriage, which has been dead for some time,” said another source close to the White House, “but the corruption scandal that is coming her way.”
Were you fooled?
There were thin pickings for lovers of political April Fools’ jokes today. It’s probably the result of politics taking a turn for the absurd anyway (see above). But there were a few decent ones. Were you taken in?
Liz Truss appointed by Trump to dismantle the “Deep Space blob”: The appointment follows Mrs. Truss’s appearance at the CPAC conference in Texas last week, runs the story, where Trump officials were said to have been deeply impressed by the “astonishing breadth of her intellect and political vision” as well as her determination to create a MEGA (Make England Great Again) movement in the U.K. That’s the giveaway. Truss is a figure of ridicule in the country where she was PM for just 49 days.
Brits told to drink cold tea as Energy Secretary launches campaign to save energy: Tea and coffee lovers are being encouraged to drink their favorite brew cold under drastic plans drawn up by Ed Miliband to combat the energy crisis. The giveaway here was the byline: Olaf Pirlo. Think about it
Ballard Partners achieves total global coverage with opening of Antarctica office: A rather drier take from one of the nation’s biggest lobbying firms. “The Antarctica office will by led by Syl Lukis, the firm’s renowned statesman extraordinaire. Known for his unparalleled ability to build consensus in any environment — no matter how cold the reception — Lukis will oversee the firm’s engagement with a diverse array of stakeholders, from international research scientists to indigenous penguin populations.” The giveaway? It ends: “Happy April Fools’ Day.”
Lunchtime reading
In South Dakota, neighbors feel sorry for Kristi Noem’s husband: Ignore the New York Times‘ headline that reads like a cryptic crossword clue, and marvel at the fact that one of its White House correspondents happened to be there for a profile of Bryon Noem before those pictures dropped!
He helped stop Iran from getting the bomb: It’s very rare for former CIA officers to go on the record about these sorts of covert, ongoing operations. A must-read.
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