Not so fetch: The 2024 Mean Girls musical misses the mark

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You can generally gauge the success of a musical by how long after the credits roll its melodies and lyrics continue to linger in your head. The 2024 musical remake of Mean Girls, despite boasting palpable vocal prowess among its cast, fails to evoke any such memorable earworms.

Restructuring the 2004 coming-of-age comedy’s main plot points into cheesy and repetitive songs, the new Mean Girls soundtrack includes such trite portmanteaus as, “I’m astounded and nonplussed / I am filled with calculust / Does this guy work out? He must / All sweaty at the gym.”

This lack of distinctive melodies is further exacerbated by the overall simplistic and shallow nature of the material. The film reimagines Mean Girls as a sing-and-dance spectacle but, in doing so, largely strips the film of its charm and wholesome character. Lindsay Lohan’s introspective narration on her journey through the tumultuous annals of high school drama is replaced by a stream of indistinguishable pop songs that meagerly attempt to guide the narrative.  

The songs largely blend into one another, lacking the bluntness and authenticity that permeated the original characters. For instance, the character of Janis Ian (Auli’i Cravalho), known for her rebellious and grunge-rock aesthetic, is reduced to a generic Disney channel pop singer.

Moreover, the overuse of a singular musical style — the Hannah Montana pop — across various characters undermines the diversity and richness across the belligerent high school cliques. Why does Regina George (Renee Rapp, the most impressive singer of the cast) sing and sound so similar to her diametrically opposed nemesis, Janis?

Each character’s unique voice and story seem to be overshadowed by an overarching inclination toward a mainstream pop sound. This approach not only strips the characters of their individuality but also renders the musical experience monotonous. The musical’s failure to explore and utilize the rich material of the original Mean Girls narrative results in a production that feels more like a template pop machine than a thoughtful adaptation of a classic.

Despite being a nearly shot-for-shot remake of the 2004 original, the musical is fully modern. The dated tropes of landlines and three-way calls have been deftly replaced by the ubiquitous presence and influence of social media, particularly platforms such as TikTok. This contemporary update is not just superficial; it meticulously captures the unique hand gestures, trends, and affectations that are synonymous with today’s social media culture. The film astutely highlights how these digital platforms can rapidly amplify and spread rumors and vitriol, effectively portraying the intensified challenges that teenagers, especially girls, face in the modern digital age. This adaptation of the story to reflect current social dynamics is one of the film’s few redeeming qualities, offering a relevant and poignant commentary on how the landscape of adolescence has evolved since 2004.

Aided by a strong cast, including a minor role from Jon Hamm and returning cast members Tina Fey and Tim Meadows, the 2024 Mean Girls packs enough of its own laughs never to feel dull — and perhaps were it not for the existence of its progenitor, against which it will inevitably be measured, it would have fared as a middling musical teen drama.

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The remake introduces fresh elements, especially in its portrayal of social media’s impact on teenage life. Yet, it struggles to reach the depth and cultural resonance of the 2004 original. That film was a poignant reflection of its era, capturing the essence of teenage life and high school social politics with sharp humor and keen observation. This essence is diluted and dissolved in the remake’s translation to a musical format. The vibrant, distinct characters from the original are now overshadowed by a homogenized pop sound, lacking the original’s cleverness and insight.

While the musical boasts impressive vocal performances, it misses the opportunity to use these talents to deepen the narrative or characters in any meaningful way. Despite the glam and glitter, “fetch” has a better chance of making it as slang than Mean Girls as a musical.

Harry Khachatrian (@Harry1T6) is a film critic for the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog and a computer engineer in Toronto pursuing his MBA.

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