Don’t look now, but the socialist takeover of the United States has begun. They’re gaining allies on college campuses and winning elections at every level. And most Americans can’t understand a word they’re saying.
Fortunately, I have studied the enemy and now speak fluent Socialist. So as a public service, I’m going to translate their mysterious lexicon into terms that every right-thinking American can understand.
Try not to shudder. It’s gonna get ugly.
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Cisgender: Identifying with the sex with which you were born. In other words, you were born male, and you consider yourself a man, or you were born female, and you consider yourself a woman. Shame on you. What’s worse, you’re probably raising your children to think in the same distorted manner.
Equity: The right to free stuff. Just because I didn’t earn it doesn’t mean I don’t deserve it.
Fascist: anyone who dares to disagree with us.
Free speech: For me but not for thee.
Genocide: A term you use when you don’t believe a sovereign nation whose citizens are brutally raped and murdered has a right of self-defense.
Global warming: Ten years ago, the useful idiot Greta Thunberg assured us the world would be on fire from global warming in just 12 years. The ensuing panic triggered billions of dollars of funding that disappeared into thin air. Global warming is actually the hot air that emanates from the mouths of socialists.
Green: A way to destroy the economies of Western Europe by eliminating jobs and condemning the elderly to die during heat waves due to a pathological aversion to air conditioning.
Intersectionality: Add up all the aspects of your identity that aren’t “white male,” and you define your life in terms of the pain your identity causes you. White males have all the fun, all the power, and all the money. Intersectionality means that your personal combination of gender, ethnicity, and religion makes you better, more noble, and more deserving of free stuff.
Latinx: An unpronounceable word that Latinos never asked for and don’t like, shoved down their throats by the gender police. Even Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA), that intellectual giant, recognizes the foolishness of the term.
Love is love: Without question. But don’t use it to justify teaching elementary school children about sex.
Net zero: Destroying the economy in the name of preserving the environment, without actually benefiting the environment. Actually, a ploy to transfer wealth from people who earn it to people who don’t and from countries that have it to the Swiss bank accounts of Third World dictators.
“People aren’t illegal”: A clever way of inducing empathy for those who broke the law by entering the country illegally. If violating immigration laws isn’t a crime, then why is any crime a crime?
People experiencing incarceration: A fancy way of saying “jailbirds.” Most people in prison are there for a reason. They’ve done evil, unspeakable things, and they need to be punished and kept out of society. Socialists want to eliminate the “carceral state,” which means they want to close all the prisons. They should be in prison themselves because working to destroy democracy and capitalism ought to be a crime.
Science is real: Sure it is. Just ask Dr. Anthony Fauci.
Undocumented immigrants: Reminiscent of what marketing professor Sad Gaad says, namely that those who commit sexual assault should be called “undocumented lovemakers.”
Unhoused: A clever way to say “homeless.” You might ask why so many homeless people are visible on the streets, in tent camps, and in illegally parked campers. It’s because loads of “nonprofits” make a fortune ripping off the government, claiming to provide service to the homeless — ahem, the unhoused. If you stopped seeing homeless people everywhere, you wouldn’t feel guilty about them. So you’d be far less likely to support this scam that rips off taxpayers and leaves the homeless worse off than before.
United Nations: United only in their hatred of the West, their love of money donated to the U.N. by the West, and their refusal to pay the countless parking tickets they accumulate in New York City.
Woke: Anyone who believes in socialism, which allows them to claim the moral high ground over you, you unenlightened slob.
Look, democracy and capitalism are hardly perfect. AI is threatening jobs, a college degree no longer guarantees a ticket to enter or remain in the middle class, first-time homebuying is harder than ever, CEOs are making a thousand times what janitors make, even if they run their businesses into the ground, and corporate welfare doles out millions of taxpayer dollars.
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All true. But the answer is to fix what’s broken, not destroy the greatest and most free nation and economy in the history of the world.
As the late, great Ronald Reagan used to say, “I don’t see anyone trying to break into the Soviet Union.”
Michael Levin is a two-time New York Times bestselling author.