Accusations of Peter Pan syndrome have long dogged Generation Z and millennials. And young Americans have given their critics fresh ammunition: they prefer pets to children during their prime family-forming years.
A new Harris Poll revealed that 40% of Americans selected pets when forced to choose. Make no mistake: respondents were also offered the option of having both children and pets, which 39% chose. Still, the plurality of Americans who would rather forgo children altogether is cause for concern.
Young Americans are apprehensive about marriage and family. As previously reported, Americans believe 26.5 is the ideal age for marriage and that married couples should have their first child a year later. But the median age at first marriage has risen to 28.6 for women and 30.2 for men, years beyond Americans’ preferred timeline for marriage and family. In other words, there is a schism between the family timeline Americans consider ideal and the one they can achieve.
Alas, 45% of those who prefer pets believe they are currently incapable of raising children. Some see pets as a cheaper alternative to children. But many more have resigned themselves: just over half of Gen Z and millennials who are not parents “have thought about building a life around pets instead of having children.” Amid a growing number of chronically single Americans, 49% of pet owners rely on their animals for the companionship they no longer seek from a significant other.
Americans believe the rite of homeownership should precede child-rearing. In fact, young Americans view their inability to afford a home as an obstacle to forming families. Half of adults ages 18 to 26 consider a fenced backyard essential when buying a home — a nod to the traditional vision of a home, a white picket fence, and two and a half children.
Curiously, their fervor for spacious yards does not extend to children’s playrooms or double sinks in primary bathrooms. Why? Renters offer a clue. City dwellers have developed a new fixation beyond the coveted dishwasher or in-unit laundry.
They now seek “pet-friendly” apartments.
More than a third organize birthday parties, subscribe to monthly care packages, and purchase strollers for their furry friends. Pet-friendly cafes and “bark mitzvahs” are increasingly common. Hotels offer “dog butlers” and canine treats on holiday menus. And yet, the same childless pet owners roll their eyes at toddlers crying in restaurants or on airplanes. They would like more “adults-only” options for dining and vacations.
Almost two-thirds of Gen Z and millennials opt for home cooking, and many give up pricey grocery brands and other creature comforts to afford pet expenses. Perhaps financial responsibility has found an unlikely instructor. Despite economic pressures, the American Pet Products Association reports that Gen Z and millennials remain steadfast in their commitment to pet ownership. But can young pet owners actually balance their books?
About 30% are carrying pet-related debt, compared with 14% among Generation X and baby boomers. Worse, nearly a third say they have “delayed paying off debt,” 4 in 10 say they take on extra work to afford their pets, and a quarter skip medical appointments to cover pet expenses. It is no wonder that a supermajority of pet owners would claim their pets as dependents if legally permitted and demand tax breaks for expenses similar to child-related deductions.
Amanda Reynolds, a New York City resident, filed a lawsuit against the IRS in June of last year. She claimed that her golden retriever, Finnegan, meets the functional criteria for defining dependents. The IRS, she argued, violated the 14th Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause because the agency unfairly treats taxpayers with nonhuman dependents.
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Rest assured: young Americans are capable of responsibility, sacrifice, and concern for something beyond themselves. Don’t parents seek housing best suited to their children? Don’t they budget for clothes, toys, and treats, and celebrate birthdays? Parents often feel squeezed, taking on debt to ensure that their children’s childhoods remain carefree.
I grant your objection: children are not pets. But devotion is no symptom of Peter Pan syndrome, either. Young Americans are marrying later than they would like. The age of first-time homebuyers has risen well beyond the age at which they would like to have their first child. Young Americans’ parental instincts toward their pets prove that they are capable of caring for others. Conservatives must offer solutions in earnest, not patronize them as overgrown children.