Former first lady Michelle Obama suggested there is a persistent and unfair confidence gap between men and women, one that begins early and lingers throughout life.
In the latest episode of her IMO with Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson podcast, which was released Wednesday, Obama told actress Julia Louis-Dreyfus that many women spend much of their lives second-guessing themselves, while young men, especially those in their 30s, often exude confidence they haven’t necessarily earned.
“We’re always hedging … because in the back of our minds, we weren’t raised with the certainty of maleness,” Obama said. “That kind of confidence that young men in their 30s have, which they haven’t earned. They just have it.”
The conversation was part of a broader discussion on aging, confidence, and cultural invisibility, especially for women.
Obama, 60, said she has only recently reached a point in her life where she feels fully secure in herself.
“This is really the first time in my life where I feel completely me, and I can absolutely embrace my wisdom,” she said. “We, as women, spend most of our lives saying, ‘Well, maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about.’ We qualify everything.”
Louis-Dreyfus agreed, adding that women are often conditioned to “apologize” for their views or downplay their opinions.
Obama echoed that sentiment, emphasizing how society discourages women from expressing confidence when they gain the experience to justify it.
“We don’t start feeling that and owning that until our 50s and 60s, at a time when we start to be treated as invisible in society,” Obama said.
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She also reflected on the personal freedom that has come with this stage of her life, saying that for the first time, her decisions are entirely her own.
“This stage in life for me, for me personally, is the first time that I’ve been completely free,” Obama shared. “There’s a real release. Where every choice that I make in my life is not about my husband, not about his career, not about what my kids need, or where they’re going. It’s totally about me.”