OnlyFans star Lily Phillips, 23, recently announced she is recruiting elderly men to sleep with, including an 82-year-old man named Steve and his friends at a nursing home. Phillips first gained notoriety last year after bedding 101 men in a day. Not to be outdone, another OnlyFans creator and former friend of Phillips, Bonnie Blue, quickly one-upped her by sleeping with 1,057 men in 12 hours.
The online sex industry is not only degrading but ruthless, and these antics reflect a bleaker cultural mindset of being willing to do anything to make money. The ease and speed by which said money is made has become more appealing than maintaining one’s morals and integrity. Selling your soul is apparently commendable if you manage to amass millions of dollars and followers on social media along the way.
Is this really the take-home message we want young girls to be absorbing? We are all being desensitized to the idea that hypersexual behavior is normal, and if a woman is smart, she’ll monetize it, no different from any other enterprising upstart or sole proprietorship.
Earlier this month, a film about a stripper was nominated for six Academy Awards and won five, including best picture. When the movie’s star won best actress, her acceptance speech “[recognized] and [honored] the sex worker community,” an acknowledgement that was met with loud and enthusiastic audience applause.
Some young women have chosen to forgo their educations in favor of heftier sums of money made from selling adult content. Countless actors, singers, and reality TV stars have similarly welcomed a goldmine upon going this route. Child stars and influencers have discovered they can become multimillionnaires if they decide to sell nudes the moment they turn 18 years old.
The bar to entry has never been lower and entices a fresh, new demographic to partake in the sex economy. Innocent-looking social media accounts depicting young women doing trendy dance moves, sharing their latest outfits and manicures, and documenting relatable, day-to-day activities hook young girls into a lifestyle that appears fun, glamorous, and easy.
In truth, the consequences can be brutal and psychologically damaging. The average OnlyFans creator makes less than $200 a month. Along with dealing with abusive and dehumanizing interactions with the people purchasing their pornography, an individual can experience threats to their physical safety, including stalkers and home invasions; mental health problems such as depression and low self-esteem; and difficulties in dating that endure even after quitting the industry.
A survey by XFans Hub found that 47% of adult content creators said it is “very challenging” to date. Forty-two percent said a relationship ended after they told their partner about their line of work. In my opinion, men who are interested in dating a pornography star usually have a cuckolding fetish or financial incentives for doing so.
Why are so many young women choosing this path, especially when they have other options available to them, and the long-term repercussions of selling sex are so costly? Critics believe it’s purely due to greed or that these women enjoy being promiscuous, so they figured they’d capitalize on it. In my experience as a former academic scientist, the more likely reasons are childhood abuse, neglect, sexual trauma, personality disorders, or drug and alcohol addiction.
Another crucial factor is fatherlessness. Girls without a positive father figure often crave male attention. Women in the sex industry are very aware of this stereotype and publicly present the illusion of having had an idyllic childhood and having a supportive father in their life to sell the fantasy that wanting indiscriminate sex with strangers is normal.
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Instead of seeing this behavior for what it is — a cry for help — mainstream culture is clapping like seals at these women’s self-destruction. And if we’re going to call out women who are selling sex, we should do the same for the men who are buying it because their actions are equally reprehensible.
Girls today need to know they have options beyond selling their bodies. It may take you longer to get to where you want to be in life, but that’s the whole point. Every shortcut comes at a cost — a larger price to be paid down the road. Your emotional health, self-respect, and being taken seriously are more valuable. In fact, they are priceless.
Dr. Debra Soh is a sex neuroscientist and the author of The End of Gender. Follow her @DrDebraSoh.